Well what can i say this week has been one hell of a week, It started off like a normal week intil i had call from my partner telling me she had been let go from her job (the job she started less than 2 months ago) due to cut backs, so of course my reaction was OMG what are we going to do, then my mobile decided that it doesn't want to work so my stress levels have been rising through the week, despite all of that i haven't sunk into a depression or a high (manic) ive just had what "normal" people have.
Life is up and down at the moment but Claire has now got a job in til xmas so keeps things ticking over including my mind lol, i seem to be doing well work where i am a volunteer and i also seem to be moving forward with twitter and other things involving mental health.
This is just a small post will post again shortly
xhttp://www.swindonlink.com/news/new-blog-helps-young-people-with-mental-health-issues
Wednesday 26 September 2012
Monday 3 September 2012
Short Poem
Always Last
Never First
Always Losing
Never Winning
I am the Thorn in your side
I am the Heart that Pours inside
I am the star that never sparkles
I am the rain which always Pours
I am the pain in your side
I am the Failure............
Never First
Always Losing
Never Winning
I am the Thorn in your side
I am the Heart that Pours inside
I am the star that never sparkles
I am the rain which always Pours
I am the pain in your side
I am the Failure............
Wednesday 2 May 2012
Prince's trust does exactly what it says on the tin!
I haven't Been on here for a while, and that because i have been extremely busy with the prince's trust TEAM programme as i have mentioned briefly in other posts.
As far as my bipolar is concerned it has been very quiet lately and seems under control,im thinking this is due to having a good routine allowing myself room for change of course the dreaded lithium and having a very good support network around me.
Since i have started the course i feel i have grown as a person allowing myself to try new things learn from my mistake and move on from them.
The course has given me the chance to become more confident,helping me set goals and to try and achieve them. it has given me a new life, a new outlook. I feel i am now very a different person to how i was at the beginning of the course, i am currently doing work experience which i feel is going very well and still learning new things about myself everyday and how act in situations iv never been in before.
Previously to the course i could not get a bus i could not leave the house on my own i found day to day things hard and other things even harder. i kept asking myself was it the bipolar stopping me from doing this or was it the fact i had low self esteem low, confidence and nothing to make me go out of the house.
I think i can now answer that, i believe that some of it was the bipolar but most of it was due to having zero confidence, zero self esteem and i never had a goal or any ambition.
I used to think it had control that bipolar had ownership of my brain, but now i call the shot and i make the decisions.
As far as my bipolar is concerned it has been very quiet lately and seems under control,im thinking this is due to having a good routine allowing myself room for change of course the dreaded lithium and having a very good support network around me.
Since i have started the course i feel i have grown as a person allowing myself to try new things learn from my mistake and move on from them.
The course has given me the chance to become more confident,helping me set goals and to try and achieve them. it has given me a new life, a new outlook. I feel i am now very a different person to how i was at the beginning of the course, i am currently doing work experience which i feel is going very well and still learning new things about myself everyday and how act in situations iv never been in before.
Previously to the course i could not get a bus i could not leave the house on my own i found day to day things hard and other things even harder. i kept asking myself was it the bipolar stopping me from doing this or was it the fact i had low self esteem low, confidence and nothing to make me go out of the house.
I think i can now answer that, i believe that some of it was the bipolar but most of it was due to having zero confidence, zero self esteem and i never had a goal or any ambition.
I used to think it had control that bipolar had ownership of my brain, but now i call the shot and i make the decisions.
Saturday 7 April 2012
Happy Easter from the Government
Although In my blogs i speak about Mental Health, I want to talk about life in general and how the government in the UK seem to put barriers in the way and make it impossible for people to have a Normal, EASY Iife.
Me and my partner Claire are good honest people who just want a break in life and be happy, this is proving very difficult at the moment, i will explain! every Saturday we receive something called working tax (i hear you all sighing) this gives us abit of freedom to buy the luxury items that is PETROL and food.
Now yesterday this was taken away without warning. Is this Fair? Do we deserve this? Does anyone deserve that? My answer is quite simply NO!
In less than 24 hours we have lost about £130 a month,i do not work due to my mental health disorder, Claire works full time in a job that pays nothing and which she gets know enjoyment out of it!
What are we going to do i hear you ask? well nothing it would cost us a small fortune to ring the tax office as what a surprise its not a free phone number.past experience shows us that if you want to work and have a bright and happy future, then sadly you are doomed in this country.
So happy Easter from the government!
Me and my partner Claire are good honest people who just want a break in life and be happy, this is proving very difficult at the moment, i will explain! every Saturday we receive something called working tax (i hear you all sighing) this gives us abit of freedom to buy the luxury items that is PETROL and food.
Now yesterday this was taken away without warning. Is this Fair? Do we deserve this? Does anyone deserve that? My answer is quite simply NO!
In less than 24 hours we have lost about £130 a month,i do not work due to my mental health disorder, Claire works full time in a job that pays nothing and which she gets know enjoyment out of it!
What are we going to do i hear you ask? well nothing it would cost us a small fortune to ring the tax office as what a surprise its not a free phone number.past experience shows us that if you want to work and have a bright and happy future, then sadly you are doomed in this country.
So happy Easter from the government!
Thursday 5 April 2012
Benifits in uk
Today i have had what i would call a good day, been on the program (prince's trust) ,busy day but learnt alot
I get home to a brown letter (yes the dreaded brown envelope) from the job centre saying i have missed an important interview with them.....previous to this just so you all get the picture,i spoke to my adviser stating that i find it hard to come in as my partner cant always find the time off of work, we agreed i would get a phone call from them. she rang me 2 weeks later and asked how i was (this is rare) and if i had the phone call discussing my options whether i stay with the job centre or go to a different organisation, i said no not yet in which she replied ok i will chase this up and u will receive a phone call by the 29th.(got the picture now).so this goes back to the Beging of the story the brown envelope. iv never received a letter or phone call but on the letter the have crossed words out like "we spoke" to "we told" i find this very rude i imagine most people would, correct me if im wrong!.All of the dates on the letter are wrong also. i feel i am yet again a victim because of incompetence.
This has now made my mood drop which im guessing you a understand,and now have to spend my easter worrying about this. but as they cant see mental health and i sound fine on the phone,i feel they are trying to find ways to make sure i dont get my benifit! and make my life difficult,i try my best to stick to there rules and i would never cheat the system. so why do they continue to make you feel like this???
I promise to all of you that read this i will fight i may take me til im 100 yrs old but thing have to change and will change.
J
I get home to a brown letter (yes the dreaded brown envelope) from the job centre saying i have missed an important interview with them.....previous to this just so you all get the picture,i spoke to my adviser stating that i find it hard to come in as my partner cant always find the time off of work, we agreed i would get a phone call from them. she rang me 2 weeks later and asked how i was (this is rare) and if i had the phone call discussing my options whether i stay with the job centre or go to a different organisation, i said no not yet in which she replied ok i will chase this up and u will receive a phone call by the 29th.(got the picture now).so this goes back to the Beging of the story the brown envelope. iv never received a letter or phone call but on the letter the have crossed words out like "we spoke" to "we told" i find this very rude i imagine most people would, correct me if im wrong!.All of the dates on the letter are wrong also. i feel i am yet again a victim because of incompetence.
This has now made my mood drop which im guessing you a understand,and now have to spend my easter worrying about this. but as they cant see mental health and i sound fine on the phone,i feel they are trying to find ways to make sure i dont get my benifit! and make my life difficult,i try my best to stick to there rules and i would never cheat the system. so why do they continue to make you feel like this???
I promise to all of you that read this i will fight i may take me til im 100 yrs old but thing have to change and will change.
J
1st Blog
Well first blog, been wanting to do this for a long time but only found the confidence to do it. yay!
Been struggling this week, im on a princes trust course and found this week hard as certian tasks i find difficult to do, due to my own mental health issues. i felt quite isolated from other group members but as us bipoars know how to put on a smiling face nobody feel knew.
in my blogs i am going to talk about my ilness experences and how we Can stop the stigma!
Looking forward to al your comments
Been struggling this week, im on a princes trust course and found this week hard as certian tasks i find difficult to do, due to my own mental health issues. i felt quite isolated from other group members but as us bipoars know how to put on a smiling face nobody feel knew.
in my blogs i am going to talk about my ilness experences and how we Can stop the stigma!
Looking forward to al your comments
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